“I’m suing Disney for emotional damage. They’re slowly destroying my childhood, one remake at a time – the fuckers.”

– Someone cheated.

“All politicians believe in nothing. They have no belief system, only what gets them into office.”

“Precisely. It’s for that reason they do have an ideology – expediency.”

“You think you’re so clever for saying that, don’t you.”

“I know, my friend, I know.”

– People who did one philosophy module.

“There’s an alternate universe where we idolize guinea pigs, so when you think about it, anything we think about isn’t that crazy.”

– Someone very clever or very dumb.

“The case for converting to Islam is becoming stronger by the day”

– A Liberal.

“I studied fine art. I think four of us were straight in the whole college. I don’t have a problem with preference, I have a problem with the externalities on society that people of preferences seem to demand.”

– Someone about to get cancelled.

“I just fainted and after I realized that no one would care if I didn’t wake up. I mean, no one would even notice until I didn’t turn up for work at five.”

– Fast-food employee of a large brand you know.

“Is it too much to ask for an essay question to ask ‘was the breakup of the USSR poggers?’”

– History undergraduate